7 Lack of Communication
“The near elimination of meaningful family member interaction.”

Cell phones, email, text messaging, instant messaging… there are more ways than ever to stay in touch. But family communication continues to be a challenge. Combined with the forces of increased levels of activities and more and more options for entertainment, time together to ‘just talk’ ebbs further.

These growing influences do not limit the amount of communication neccessarily, but change the type of interaction that occurs. Rather than long stretches of time together in which issues have time to bubble to the surface, familes have more perfunctory
exchanges of planning for times and places.

Instant access to children by cell phone offers a feeling of safety, but furthers the freedom to spend time among friends over family. Music players and game consoles further isolate boys to a personal soundspace or their rooms while young girls are spending hours at a time chatting online and forming virtual relationships at great risk.
The number 7 topic facing today’s family, as expressed by individuals from a range of backgrounds, is “Lack of Communication.”

“Cell phones, the Internet, digital satellite systems, and play stations are becoming substitutes for relationships. Families can not communicate effectively because of text messaging or using a cell phone talking to some one rather than being with the person in physical proximity. ” Robert C. Bogart, GA

” Perhaps no other activity provides the intimate sharing and conversation time as
a calm, comfortable meal together. The rush of today’s schedules prevent families from having this provision. ” Dan W. Kosciusko, MS

Helpful Hints for Parents:
See notes for how to balance family and work

• A great way to communicate with one another is to spend time at the table eatting meals together. If your kids are younger have a special plate and that person determines the topic for that meal. You can have fun with this, ask the question, if we could go vacation where would you like to go
• When you take your kids to school, turn the radio off and tune into your kids. You have a captured audience.
• Pray with your children every day.
• Ask your children these two questions every day: (You will gain insight to their emotions.)
  • What made you happy today?
  • What made you sad today?

• Learn your child’s world in which they live.
  • If we want to nurture the leader in our children, we must step into their world. Our goal should not only be to understand their generation, but to connect with them, right where they are. Nurture the Leader with in Your Child, Tim Elmore pg 31.

• Take your children on dates.
  • Recently, I took one of my sons on a “mini-date,” basically he ran some errands with me. However, I had a goal. I wanted him know he had 100% of my attention. It was AWESOME. We went to QT and grab a milkshake and had a blast just talking about life. We laughed. We had serious conversations about life but what meant the most to me was when he said, “Dad, can we make this longer!”

I would strongly encourage that you read, Nurturing the Leader in Your Child, TIM ELMORE. www.growingleaders.com In his book he talks that as parents we should be like a tour guide for our children. We should be the SALT of the earth Tim Elmore

• S. - say anything, this is the role of a host who takes initiative the conversation.
• A - ask questions, this is the role of a doctor who pokes and prods.
• L - listen, this is the role of the counselor. First understand then worry about being understood.
• T. - transition to the truth this is the role of the tour guide, who communicates key truths and gets people to their destination (pg. 57)

Tim also has some great ideas on how to get your kids to talk.

1. Start a project together.
2. Watch a good video together. Afterwards, talk about the characters they identify with. Discuss any leadership scenes in the movie. Was there anything to learn?
3. Write out questions and place them in a balloons. Have the family bat the balloons around. At a signal, have each member pop one and answer the question inside the balloon.
4. Look at old photographs or family videos.
5. Ask your kids to teach you something they can do well that you can’t do well. (pg. 47.)

What are somethings you’re doing to make sure communication is taking place in your family?