5 Lack of Discipline
“The death of respectful behavior as a norm in our schools, churches, and families.”
Ward and June Cleaver seemed to have it so easy. A stern look from Father, and you knew you were “in for it.” Take a moment and think of a time when you have seen children badly misbehaving in a grocery store. Think of the times they have been your kids! We are in a different place than the Cleavers. What has changed? While some families strive to provide consistency and high standards, a culture of disrespect creates a sometimes overwhelming pressure against them. A spirit of rebelliousness pervades our schools and youth culture, more and more often with tragic results. Gee Wally, things sure have changed.

The number 5 topic facing today’s family, as expressed by individuals from a range of backgrounds, is “Lack of Discipline.”
o “Two sides of the same coin are self-discipline and self-respect. Children do not see the modeling of these attributes in parents or other adults; therefore they grow into self-absorbed and selfish adults.” Jeff P. Dacula, GA
o “Without discipline and respect in the home, there is none in the world.” Karen B. Marshall, TX

Fewer than one out of every twenty adults believe that America’s youngsters are receiving above the average preparation in all five areas of life; emotional, physical, spiritual, intellectual or physically.

The lowest rating, however, were reserved for the moral and spiritual preparation of children. Only 8% of adults said kids get better than adequate preparation in the spiritual realm, while more than seven out of ten adults said children get inadequate spiritual training.
“The survey findings indicate that parents feel they’re being let down by society George Barna noted that the same people who are being anguished about the mediocre support that children receive IE parents are the ones primarily responsible for the problem. Parents alone may be incapable of fully equipping their children every area of life but the, strategy of waiting for social institution to provide whatever their children need is seriously flawed and when parents lean on institutions for help in this process, unless parents hold these institutions accountable, the quality of life preparation that our nation’s children receive will continue to fail to meet even the most modest standards.” (www.barna.org)
We as parents are mentors whether we like it or not. We must decide to be proactive in the lead as opposed to react and follow. Some parents handle the so called “big” issues; s**, drugs, alcohol, tobacco, but is that is enough? We should mentor our children through life situations by modeling it before them. Tim Elmore’s is a great author and communicator and is passionate about equipping and empowering children. He speaks often about mentoring. His son overheard him talking to a friend about the mentoring process and why it’s important. That evening his son asked, “Daddy, will you be my mentor?” (pg 6. Nurturing the Leader Within Your Child.) It is up to us to determine what type of mentor we will be to for our children.

You may have a coach for your career or mentor in your specific field, yet rarely do you hear of mentors for parents. Typically we become parents and parent the same way as our parents, good or bad. Please understand, I’m not perfect nor do I claim to be. However, I have a mentor in my life that is challenging me to become the best Husband and Father. If you are struggling in the area of parenting find someone who is doing things right and allow them to speak truth into your life. Your family will benefit. Dobson says, “It’s easier to shape the child than to rebuild an adult.”
“The biggest problem kids’ face is the example adults show them today.” This is a powerful statement from a seventeen year old. There are so many things we want for our kids. We want them to have the best of everything…the Wii, the Nintendo DS, and an iPod. (The battle of materialism) Our actions communicate priority to our children. Where we spend the most time and money communicates our priority. I know I need to fine tune my discipline. “I cannot lead my kids any further than were I have grown myself. We teach what we know but we reproduce who we are.” (Tim Elmore) We need to help our children understand there is a cost for lack of discipline. Children need to understand the price of their bad decisions increase with age. What cost you minutes in time out as a child may cost you your job as an adult. “We can’t choose our ancestors but we can shape our descendants.” (Tim Elmore) As Reggie Joiner says, “An inheritance is something you leave for your kids; a legacy is something you leave in them.”

Remember, “Know the way, go the way, show the way.” John Maxwell